“What draws people to be friends is that they see the same truth. They share it.” – C.S.Lewis
I don’t have many friends, I’m not particularly sociable and I love my own space. So, naturally I surprised myself a month or so ago when I made the brave first move in initiating a friendship with a complete stranger. I was compelled to be so bold for one reason only; this person was just like me, a widowed parent. I had got to the point of being so sick of feeling like shit that I just thought, why not. Why not reach out and see where this goes? Since doing so, we have spoken nearly every day and it is so bloody refreshing.
On the back of meeting this person I met his friend, another widow! WIDOWS UNITE. This particular person has been an angel in disguise, and during one of the toughest weeks of the year for me, she looked after me, fed and watered me, and supported me emotionally. People who have only known me a short while are looking out for me, and I know that they ‘get it’. The best part though, has to be feeling normal. Amongst one another we are the normal ones. We are able to talk about the people we love and miss, about the nitty gritty details of their deaths and funerals, as casually as you might discuss the weather. I mean, it’s obviously depressing and morbid, but for me, it’s a part of my story and who I am.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s horrible that there are people like me and children like my son, because I wouldn’t wish our loss on anyone, but it is also the greatest feeling to know you’re not alone. That your child will never feel alone. Of all of the things I have done for my son, and given him, this has to be the best by far. He has a support network, and you cannot put a price on that.
“I have friends like me now” – my son, aged 4.